Emmy World Refugees Journal

....I still can't get used to the fact that I'm now living at Rainbow's End and yet I still don't really feel comfortable in Radiant.This is the closest thing to family really, even if I still don't really feel like I belong anywhere. Feels like something's missing... I just can't place it anymore, though.

Also brooding for some reason. Likely the fact that there are two youngsters here and I always connect more with little kids between infant and about 10. That was the best thing about being home for Christmas -- I got to see my newest baby cousin.

Maybe I should offer to babysit... It'd give me something to do beyond trying to figure out what classes I'm going to take at RIT...Since I think I'm going to stick around a while.... Have to poke at their tech majors...and I kind-of want to poke at magical theory and other metaphysics as a minor... Also maybe literature.

This is depressing. It probably doesn't help that I hole up in my room because I'm not sleeping well because I seem to be regaining nightmares. Old ones about rats and big lies and of course being a witness to murder. I hate my subconscious.

[[posted the day before arranging to leave Olympus Coliseum]]

Hey Song, I'll watch the Casa. I should be there in a couple days now that I've told Phil I'm moving onward again.

......I admit it, I'm really considering giving into learning magic. It still won't be my specialty, but I'm curious now about applying my own experimentations. Though to be honest because my experiments so far have involved the application of the weakest equivalent to magic on Earth-Prime[which I have referenced to the other worlds as "The Grounded Earth"], I do not expect anything other than my meditations to do things. I just expect that I may be more naturally attuned to the concepts as the mages have indicated may well be true.

But, right now the most important thing is making sure the Princesses are safe and as healthy as can be given circumstance, and that the Castle remains a safe haven.

Dreamwriter sighed, closing the laptop lid and looking at Sheridan. "How would you heal a world's spirit?"

Sheridan tipped her head to one side and then did a series of hand waves that Dreamwriter was starting to begin to understand after so many months living with the mute little fae.

Since the sequence ended with a hug which Dreamwriter had learned to symbol care and love in Sheridan's awkward sign language. Dreamwriter chuckled, "I assumed that it would be the same as everything else -- love, care and gentility. The question is how do we get to that place between where we can know the spirits? It happened on a fluke last time -- a boon for saving the worlds."

She sighed, "This time we must unlock the doors ourselves, it's not so much of a gift of a window. Though I hope we can find a window without unleashing a shadow. The worlds don't need more pain right now, if Aerith's post is any indication."

DreamWriter was worried about the wedding. For the most of the weekend, she'd purposefully been losing sleep, putting wedding-fitting designs onto her outfits, teaching her self sewing and weaving among other things.

She had bought a frilly child's dress in the market place a while back but never worn it, so this was her opportunity to wear the mint and chocolate affair.

On her new cloak, with silver thread, she had embroidered a cloud with a heart inside it and the sunshine peaking around an edge. And on the sleeves -- one side had an embroidery of a vine and the other had a spider web.

THe crystal for her staff was obsidian and she was going to insist on sitting near the door, where the staff's powers would be able to theoretically remove anyone's external baggage.

The scarab brooch over the frogs fastenings of her cloak held the carnelian as a reminder that as Refugees they were "all in this together".

Under all this, she was wearing a new pair of high-heeled mary janes.

I keep my light shining on the community... but really? I'm worried.

I may live in light, and light outshines darkness, but even darkness has light and light, darkness. Without those, the world would be naught.

Things are very strange these days... Calum and the first darkness. Dream Brother Orpheus, flown away somewhere unknown. I miss him and I barely knew him, though our ideas are near complete opposites. We share the same dream, but a different methodology. It's always been the way with all three of us. And I... I'm the artist, the one who creates in the now, but does so slowly inspite of impatience, rather than destroying that which is cared for by others. My problem is that I worry too much and I give too much, though. That's my darkness. I am open to any possibilities, as long as faith, loyalty, love, and friendship remain intact.

I'm going to Narnia, hopefully, with Rox and a few others. I hope to heavens Aslan will hear the prayer of someone who doesn't quite believe in him, but in another variation of him. It's hard you know. Doubting oneself and ones belief system. THough, at least I was once one of his kind. I hope we can find some answers. So much is problematic. The World is problematic, but that doesn't mean a solution is destruction, rather... the solution is balance. We do need the first darkness, but at the same time, we need it in moderation. it's... just hard to figure out where that is if you don't even know where to start. And... thinking is running us in circles and time... we don't have enough time and not enough answers. How do you fix things when you don't exactly know how they are broken?

so I went to the shops, and guess what DreamWriter found? A very brilliant journal that perfectly fits for this new year. I think DreamSeeker will be able to see why best. And I got it for a discount because it's a bit damaged and faded from being in a display case near a window.

( I took pictures. )

ooc note: yes, this is a real journal i bought from a real store.... and i dunno it just said "DreamWriter's new book!" and yes, I did get it for about a $2 discount.

Dear DreamSeeker,

Happy Holidays. I hope this reaches you well.

I miss you. How goes the quest for science?

Hopefully I'll see you around Christmas or Yule. If not, have a very happy holidays and a happy New Year.

Hugs, Love and Light,

DreamWriter

I think I found what I'm looking for... and I wonder if maybe I can start learning to use my mental bonds to improve my own skills. Being the innocent one who knows too much is perhaps the best disguise I have. I have some of the skills of my bonds in lesser qualities, after all. Perhaps I can start to tap my knowledge into theirs. I know I have a shared memory tool in my mind, we just...don't usually use it for combining real-time knowledge and source knowledge. It tends to be used as a real-time knowledge tracker as well as a check-in-check-out point to the few who behave similar to gateway systems.

I'm...perhaps one of the interesting ones that no one knows. *chuckles* I kind of like that. "It's always the quiet ones," after all. Plus the fact that I can believe so strongly in the strangest of things. But, I suppose if I'm going to tap into the one that should be easiest to tap into, I'm going to need to find some flowers and a some wire.... hmm.... might need a quick trip to earth at some point...

I'm starting to get attached to this song, even if it IS unorthodox and kinda evil in a diplomatic way.

Song, I'm also around to talk if you ever need anyone else to talk with.