dreamwriter_emmy: Alexis Bledel (brunette smiling sitting on a bench) (Default)
I don't know what I'm supposed to think.

They're planning on bringing Radiant back.

But, I feel so outside it all. Like I'm removed from it.

I think I tried to believe that maybe Radiant would be home when I stayed.... Because Earth certainly wasn't home anymore.

Now, I'm not so sure.

If it were home, shouldn't I be excited and eager to help like the rest of them?

Instead, I'm overworking myself here at Olympus Coliseum and trying not to think about the fact that I don't know where my "home" is yet.

And it's times like these when I really miss my siblings, both Earth and Dream. I think I'm gonna go find Dream-Sister after Nike Tournament....
dreamwriter_emmy: Alexis Bledel (brunette smiling sitting on a bench) (Default)
[It looks like Sheridan took a leaf from a few of the other companion-critters. Though if her expression is any indication as she's standing in the forefront, she doesn't have any mischievous motives. She looks concerned. In the background Dreamwriter can be seen tossing things recklessly onto her bed the scarab brooch at her throat has an orange stone.]

Where'd I put it?! Sheridan, where's my quill!

[The fae turns around and begins making hand gestures, eventually pointing toward the pillow of her owner's bed.

Even though Dreamwriter's turned to face Sheridan, it doesn't look like she notices the camera's on. She lays down on top of the things on the bed pulling the quill out from between the head of the bed and the mattress behind the pillow.]

[she sighs, running her fingers over the black and silver feather she's not looking over at the laptop anymore] Why...? I'm not supposed to. I'm. It's. This. I'm not. Not me...

[Sheridan flits over to her owner and glances at the camera before fiddling with the brooch holding the cloak in place. Dreamwriter sits up and sighs]

I get it, if I'm going to mope, I should take off the coat.

[She blinks as she unpins the brooch and glances toward the laptop, apparently now she notices the video function's on and she seems as inflated as an upset bird] Do I need to give you my kidslocked account, Sheridan?!

[The fae makes a few more hand gestures then frowns at the camera then pouts at her owner]

[Dreamwriter visibly deflates] Well...I suppose if you were worried. Just go shut it off and make sure it's not posting to the community.

[Sheridan comes back to the laptop and moves back and forth between close to the camera and back a bit. Keys tap as she moves. She's apparently checking to make sure she's doing as her owner said. Then the transmission cuts]
dreamwriter_emmy: Alexis Bledel (brunette smiling sitting on a bench) (Default)
......I admit it, I'm really considering giving into learning magic. It still won't be my specialty, but I'm curious now about applying my own experimentations. Though to be honest because my experiments so far have involved the application of the weakest equivalent to magic on Earth-Prime[which I have referenced to the other worlds as "The Grounded Earth"], I do not expect anything other than my meditations to do things. I just expect that I may be more naturally attuned to the concepts as the mages have indicated may well be true.

But, right now the most important thing is making sure the Princesses are safe and as healthy as can be given circumstance, and that the Castle remains a safe haven.
dreamwriter_emmy: Alexis Bledel (brunette smiling sitting on a bench) (Default)
I look at the community and I don't know what to say. I write and I act.

But right now, we don't know what we're doing. Heaven knows we may well be shooting our feet by not acting, but it's not easy to know when movement is necessary when you're afraid of the mines hidden underground.

I wanted a break. I needed a break. Doesn't stop me from worrying though. I feel like a coward for not returning to Radiant Garden when the barrier went down when everyone else did. I'm repeating the past. I should move. I should. I can't stick my feet in the ground like this. But, I don't know what else to do. Is there something I'm supposed to do? Last time I helped by research and my own interpretation of magic... Hmm... I think I'm gonna go hit the books again. Nothing better to do and I don't think I'm gonna get sleep tonight.

OOC: ...post otherwise known as "DreamWriter has no idea where-the-fuck she actually is in canon and is filling in the blanks as she's been MIA since the barrier was up around RG".
dreamwriter_emmy: Alexis Bledel (brunette smiling sitting on a bench) (fear for courage)
DreamWriter was worried about the wedding. For the most of the weekend, she'd purposefully been losing sleep, putting wedding-fitting designs onto her outfits, teaching her self sewing and weaving among other things.

She had bought a frilly child's dress in the market place a while back but never worn it, so this was her opportunity to wear the mint and chocolate affair.

On her new cloak, with silver thread, she had embroidered a cloud with a heart inside it and the sunshine peaking around an edge. And on the sleeves -- one side had an embroidery of a vine and the other had a spider web.

THe crystal for her staff was obsidian and she was going to insist on sitting near the door, where the staff's powers would be able to theoretically remove anyone's external baggage.

The scarab brooch over the frogs fastenings of her cloak held the carnelian as a reminder that as Refugees they were "all in this together".

Under all this, she was wearing a new pair of high-heeled mary janes.
dreamwriter_emmy: Alexis Bledel (brunette smiling sitting on a bench) (Default)
for [livejournal.com profile] charloft: Dirty litle secrets. Some secrets are big, and some are just embarassing. What embarassing little secrets do you have? Do you enjoy watching soaps, do you sleep with a teddy bear? Confess!
nb: this is as much the MUN's opinion as her character... do remember that DreamWriter happens to be a KH-crossversed version of the mun.

They say two can keep a secret if only one of them is dead, but truly? I believe there are people who can hide "dirty little secrets". It's all a matter of perspective. Who's to say what is reality and what is fiction? Define "real." Can you?

My reality and yours may differ greatly. Maybe this is all someone's game. Maybe we all live a dream. And maybe, just maybe, we will wake from this dream. I mean, think about it. It's easily accessible to bullshit. That's why there are LJs about "fake LJs and fake MySpaces." But even more than that, it's quite easy to change one's appearance subtly and become one of 3 in a rating community instead of one. :o The internet makes BS worthwhile and simple. Especially with 32 minute internet access in libraries and almost unlimited access for college labs.

My secret? I like BS... a lot. Drama's my thing even if I can't act for SHIT in person or voice. LJ is my theatre.
dreamwriter_emmy: Alexis Bledel (brunette smiling sitting on a bench) (DreamWriter)
so I went to the shops, and guess what DreamWriter found? A very brilliant journal that perfectly fits for this new year. I think DreamSeeker will be able to see why best. And I got it for a discount because it's a bit damaged and faded from being in a display case near a window.

I took pictures. )

ooc note: yes, this is a real journal i bought from a real store.... and i dunno it just said "DreamWriter's new book!" and yes, I did get it for about a $2 discount.
dreamwriter_emmy: Alexis Bledel (brunette smiling sitting on a bench) (runes)
... I am Dreamwriter, rather than Dreamseeker or Dreamer, I don't know...But that's what I've seen as my role in this life, this story. Perhaps that's why Song, Xemnas and I can see through the same eyes. Same eyes, different role all three of us.

I see just as much darkness and light as the next, still I am skeptical and questioning. I doubt. I fear. I am alone. But, I've always seen myself as alone. I'm Crow. The messenger, the voice between present and the past. The one who feels isolation and pain ever-present so to make the journey easy for others. To connect the worlds. To connect the lives.

"If time has a heart, it is only because other hearts stop."

Perhaps we're in an age where the three of us are far advanced to the current civilization, but the experience lives on. Existed since the gods and will exist forever more. There will always be a Dreamer, a Dreamseeker and a Dreamwriter. Just as there will ever be a Darkness to oppose Light and the Keybearer to reconnect the darkness and light. To bring things back to the center...to the beginning. The wheel begins again.

I've been trying to tap into my past... and my present.... I have a few openings with Crow...and with the plant-girl. But this is actually harder than I thought it would be. Hopefully, I can tap these a little more without ruining the relationship with them both...I just hope I can do this... The desire to connect is what remains in all my past. "I don't want to change. I want to stay together always. I want things to stay the same." Perhaps that'll be my downfall, but only time will tell.
dreamwriter_emmy: Alexis Bledel (brunette smiling sitting on a bench) (Default)
I think I found what I'm looking for... and I wonder if maybe I can start learning to use my mental bonds to improve my own skills. Being the innocent one who knows too much is perhaps the best disguise I have. I have some of the skills of my bonds in lesser qualities, after all. Perhaps I can start to tap my knowledge into theirs. I know I have a shared memory tool in my mind, we just...don't usually use it for combining real-time knowledge and source knowledge. It tends to be used as a real-time knowledge tracker as well as a check-in-check-out point to the few who behave similar to gateway systems.

I'm...perhaps one of the interesting ones that no one knows. *chuckles* I kind of like that. "It's always the quiet ones," after all. Plus the fact that I can believe so strongly in the strangest of things. But, I suppose if I'm going to tap into the one that should be easiest to tap into, I'm going to need to find some flowers and a some wire.... hmm.... might need a quick trip to earth at some point...

I'm starting to get attached to this song, even if it IS unorthodox and kinda evil in a diplomatic way.

Song, I'm also around to talk if you ever need anyone else to talk with.
dreamwriter_emmy: Alexis Bledel (brunette smiling sitting on a bench) (fear for courage)
"Dream, Believe, Dare, Do." -Walt Disney
"A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles." - Christopher Reeve
"A champion is someone who gets up when he can't." - Jack Dempsey
"When you do nothing, you feel overwhelmed and powerless. But when you get involved, you feel the sense of hope and accomplishment that comes from knowing you are working to make things better." - Pauline R. Kezer
"Champions aren't made in gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them - a desire, a dream, a vision. They have to have last-minute stamina,, they have to be a little faster, they have to have the skill and the will. But the will must be stronger than the skill." - Muhammad Ali
"Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into a flame by another human being. Each of us owes our deepest thank to those who have rekindled this light." - Albert Schweitzer
"Your greatest gift lies behind the door named fear." - Sufi Scripture
As to the reason for all the quotes? I'm working on some positive thinking. I think I did good, with what i did manage to get from the media in my area. I have ideas as to how utilize recent events...and I think it's both incredibly obvious that Jeremy was right in the first place and of course now i bash myself over the head because we SHOULD have followed his advice. We went in without a real plan...that was a stupid plan in general... ._.'
dreamwriter_emmy: Alexis Bledel (brunette smiling sitting on a bench) (knowledge is just opinion)
Duplicity. Duality. It's something I believe in a lot... It's...essential to Disney... to life.. .to everything. I believe it's necessary. For every positive thing, there must be a polar opposite. For every light, there must be a darkness. For every piece of nothing, there must be a piece of something. For every experience of love, there must be an experience of hate. For every piece of sadness, there should be happiness. For every belief, there must be a skeptic. For every knowledgeable person, there should be someone without knowledge.

This song I'm listening to is a tongue-in-cheek commentary on Alanis Morissette's career as well as the world in general. Youtube video here and lyrics here. Some of the clips in the video are embarrassing kid photos of her. It's a rather...cynical song, but it's catchy.
dreamwriter_emmy: Alexis Bledel (brunette smiling sitting on a bench) (know think choose do)
Once, after they had been wrestling and tumbling, Bastian sat down, somewhat out of breath, and said: "Couldn't I stay with you forever?"
The Lion shook his mane. "No master."
"Why not?"
"Here there is only life and death, only Perilin and Goab, but no story. You must live your story. You cannot remain here."

...I won't lie. I'm a little scared, but I need to start using my wishes as well now. I can't stay in my safe little cocoon here. This kind of existence isn't much more than a half-life.

I'm surprised I didn't recognize it sooner. But...we all take some time to truly see. Seems like I blinded myself with being useful and focusing on others rather than myself.

Looks like I'm going to have to see the queen sometime within the next week or two... and talk to the mages.

I really should be moving again...And..my goal, as scary as it seems right now...will be to go home. I need to stop running away.

When this ends, I'm not going to let myself forget. I might not be able to return physically, but...I may be able to return in my dreams.
dreamwriter_emmy: Alexis Bledel (brunette smiling sitting on a bench) (knowledge is just opinion)
...This quote made a lot of sense alongside the post I wrote the other day. Similar sentiments to before this adventure began...reminds me of what I said back in Traverse before the world was restored: "At home, it was a fairy tale to be here. Now, the thought of home feels more like a fairy tale."

"...No human has visited Fantastica,
For they no longer know the way,
They have forgotten how real we are
They don't believe in us anymore.
Oh, if only one child of man would come,
Oh, then at last the thing would be done.
If only one would hear our plea.
For them it is near, but for us too far,
Never can we go out to them,
For theirs is the world of reality." (sung by Uyalala; 101)

"...And the more these visits enriched our world, the fewer lies there were in theirs, the better it became. Just as our two worlds can injure each other, they can also make each other whole again."(spoken by the Childlike Empress; 158)

You can't have one without the other...lies and fantasy are from the same source, like light and dark.

"Master," the lion replied calmly. "Didn't you know that Fantastica is the land of stories? A story can be new and yet tell about olden times. The past comes into existence with the story."(210)

kind of self-explanatory. :)
...And perhaps...the two quotes I think most important of all, I shall end on...

"How am I to find the way there?" asked Bastian."Isn't it too late?"
"There's only one wish that can take you there: your last."
Bastian was terrified. "Dame Eyola--all the wishes that have come true thanks to AURYN have made me forget something. Will it be the same with this one?"
She nodded slowly.
"But if I don't notice it!"
"Did you notice it other times? Once you've forgotten something you don't know you ever had it."
"What am I forgetting now?"
"I'll tell you at the proper time. If I told you now you'd hold onto it."
"Must I lose everything?"
"Nothing is lost," she said. "Everything is transformed." (366)

"They are forgotten dreams from the human world," Yor explained. "Once someone dreams a dream, it can't just drop out of existence. But if the dreamer can't remember it what becomes of it? It lives on in Fantastica, deep under our earth. There the forgotten dreams are stored in many layers. The deeper one digs, the closer together they are. All Fantastica rests on a foundation of forgotten dreams."
"Listen to me, Bastian Balthazar Bux," he said. "I'm no great talker. I prefer silence. But I will answer this one question. You are looking for the Water of Life. You want to be able to love, that's your only hope of getting back to your world. To love--that's easily said. But the Water of Life will ask you: Love whom? Because you can't just love in general. You've forgotten everything but your name. And if you can't answer, it won't let you drink. So you'll just have to find a forgotten dream, a picture that will guide you to the fountain. And to find that picture, you will have to forget the one thing you have left: yourself. And that take hard, patient work. Remember what I've said, for I shall never say it again."(373).

To me, both of these quotes are about...how the hardest thing we must do in our lives...is to grow -- to change -- to let go of what we have. We 'lose' some things to change, but...they're never gone. They've become forgotten dreams, or they sleep somewhere inside us, behind a door we're afraid to open.
dreamwriter_emmy: Alexis Bledel (brunette smiling sitting on a bench) (runes)
I rarely quote the Bible...And I do mean rarely--and when I do it is ALWAYS the New Testament because for the most part, I believe that Jesus said some very wise things, but most people do not practice his teachings as they should. They focus more on the vindicative side of God in both Jesus and the Old Testament God. It bugs me, it really does.

How about this for a thought:
And he took a little child, and put him in the middle of them,
And said, "Truly, I say to you, If you do not have a change of heart and become like little children, you will not go into the kingdom of heaven.
Whoever, then, will make himself as low as this little child, the same is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
And whoever gives honour to one such little child in my name, gives honour to me:
But whoever is a cause of trouble to one of these little ones who have faith in me, it would be better for him to have a great stone fixed to his neck, and to come to his end in the deep sea. "

"A curse is on the earth because of trouble! for it is necessary for trouble to come; but unhappy is that man through whom the trouble comes."(Matthew 18:2-7)

I thought some more about what i wrote last time....

You all wanted to know what I think of Kingdom Hearts? I think, to some extent we are ALL right.

Kingdom Hearts is deeply tied to children. To dreams, desires, wishes. It is love, as Belegwen says. It is Light and Heart as Xemnas thinks. It is...dreams, fire, light, moon, sun, sound, wind, risk, water, metal, wood... It is everything and nothing. To an extent, Kingdom Hearts flows like the Tao...All things exist in it and it exists in all things(Or at the least...it once did for those who lost themselves).

Yes, life is horrible. The world is corrupt and irreparably broken--or at the least too divided to fix in this lifetime. But that doesn't mean we can't create a dreaming in the now. It's what artists and writers do. We recognize that life is suffering and the world ugly and broken. We say what needs to be said, then we create the things that help us live through them.

Song, your other created alternate dimensions to help her do this...she lived in her dreams and written words, as I do. For the rest of you, I don't know where your passions were once upon a time.

I do however know one thing--we are all acting as children, but we haven't recognized such...Instead we're antagonizing each other, vying for pride and the top position....

Those of us refugees have been able to believe like Children, we wouldn't be here if we couldn't believe in Disney, in Sora. If...we continue this childish belief...and start thinking the way a believing child does. Those of us with light, may be able to find a way to build anew and find a different path than the Dreaming. After all...

But a glimmer of light remained in the hearts of Children...

Children gathered their glimmers of light and recreated the world.

The recreated world, however, was no longer united...It was divided into several smaller worlds.(Kingdom Hearts Volume 1 Page 5)

It was the children who rebuilt the world.... with their light. Their wishes. Their dreams. Their hope. Their hearts. Their love. Why wouldn't Kingdom Hearts be those same sentiments?
dreamwriter_emmy: Alexis Bledel (brunette smiling sitting on a bench) (Ariel Gade - World Refugees - Opening Do)
...I told her what I believe...what I feel.

We are so alike and yet so different. It's...strange. The only difference is alliance and a heart, and that is what makes all the difference.

Like her and Xemnas I believe that some doors were meant to be opened... I believe Sora is on the right track with closing doors because some doors were not meant to be opened...but some doors were not meant to be closed. Though to a lesser extent, I don't think the other refugees see the underlying metaphor of doors...and what I think opening doors means in my heart. I do not necessarily see the same definition. I see a wider view than either group does...though sometimes I feel Song is so close to the truth I see. I believe in melding...it is not a logical nor a rational argument, but one I believe so strongly. Paths may be chosen as alternates. I believe my choice is to walk as close on the line as I dare. To explore, to sacrifice, to gain...and perhaps...to have opened my mind enough to discover what no one else has thought of. What no one else is brave enough to see.

We talked the other day. About her other...About how to truly see and what blinds. About evolution and growing beyond boundaries. About current events. What it means to exist and definitions of existence. I told her about what I vaguely hinted at to Axel when he revealed himself as a Refugee...as one of us. That I soulbond. That fiction is real to me because I can feel fictional individuals as people. To an extent...I am fiction... A very strange fiction...But it is something I see the world through and one of many reasons I am...not easy to surprise. I accepted this as real from the beginning... It is no dream.

There must be some other path. I doubt the melding of the arguments of both The Dreaming and the other Refugees would bring happiness. So, there must be some other way besides the Dreaming...which I feel needs moderation now that I've reread Song's posts again and again.

Though Belegwen...is somewhat on the right path that love is the route to the heart...but I believe that in...the end...Kingdom Hearts...the ORIGINAL Kingdom Hearts IS Love AND Light. It's two sides of one coin. Light to me is the outpouring of Love that comes from Opening the Heart. In reality...for me...to open doors is to take down the walls that divide--to broaden vision, to broaden the mind, to broaden the heart ... Or in the case of nobodies in my opinion... to broaden the view of emptiness into a view of something..."Nothing is Everything and Everything is Nothing". That's a rough translation of a few lines from the Tao Te Ching.

I may be wrong. But this is the path I choose to seek, to prove my beliefs. There's only way to find out if my belief is real...That is to follow my heart, to accept what I find...and to live and to dream.


dreamwriter_emmy: Alexis Bledel (brunette smiling sitting on a bench) (Default)

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