dreamwriter_emmy: Alexis Bledel (brunette smiling sitting on a bench) (Default)
....I still can't get used to the fact that I'm now living at Rainbow's End and yet I still don't really feel comfortable in Radiant.This is the closest thing to family really, even if I still don't really feel like I belong anywhere. Feels like something's missing... I just can't place it anymore, though.

Also brooding for some reason. Likely the fact that there are two youngsters here and I always connect more with little kids between infant and about 10. That was the best thing about being home for Christmas -- I got to see my newest baby cousin.

Maybe I should offer to babysit... It'd give me something to do beyond trying to figure out what classes I'm going to take at RIT...Since I think I'm going to stick around a while.... Have to poke at their tech majors...and I kind-of want to poke at magical theory and other metaphysics as a minor... Also maybe literature.

This is depressing. It probably doesn't help that I hole up in my room because I'm not sleeping well because I seem to be regaining nightmares. Old ones about rats and big lies and of course being a witness to murder. I hate my subconscious.
dreamwriter_emmy: Alexis Bledel (brunette smiling sitting on a bench) (I play with my hair when I'm nervous)
Weird between Seph and I solving the mystery of the missing Eli, I really shouldn't doubt myself quite so often...

Hmm... I think I'll give the dregs of this cold about a week before going back out into the multiverse.

I don't think Sheridan enjoys being the 'mute ten year old I'm babysitting'. Why did I even use that as an explanation? Hell if I know.


To-do:

1. first stop will be Radiant and I'm staying until Eli's birthday.... I'm going to leave belated Christmas presents at Rainbow's End for people to pick up at their leisure.

2. then i'm going to Twilight because I'm supposed to be doing that housesitting job... the Casa's a secondary home for Refs... hnn... I wonder if I should ask Yen Sid about renewing the wards on the Casa....


Random:

I miss my dream-sister too... :/ All the birds fly the nest and I'm alone waiting and dreaming.
dreamwriter_emmy: Alexis Bledel (brunette smiling sitting on a bench) (Default)
[[posted the day before arranging to leave Olympus Coliseum]]

Hey Song, I'll watch the Casa. I should be there in a couple days now that I've told Phil I'm moving onward again.
dreamwriter_emmy: Alexis Bledel (brunette smiling sitting on a bench) (Default)
I don't know what I'm supposed to think.

They're planning on bringing Radiant back.

But, I feel so outside it all. Like I'm removed from it.

I think I tried to believe that maybe Radiant would be home when I stayed.... Because Earth certainly wasn't home anymore.

Now, I'm not so sure.

If it were home, shouldn't I be excited and eager to help like the rest of them?

Instead, I'm overworking myself here at Olympus Coliseum and trying not to think about the fact that I don't know where my "home" is yet.

And it's times like these when I really miss my siblings, both Earth and Dream. I think I'm gonna go find Dream-Sister after Nike Tournament....
dreamwriter_emmy: Alexis Bledel (brunette smiling sitting on a bench) (Default)
......I admit it, I'm really considering giving into learning magic. It still won't be my specialty, but I'm curious now about applying my own experimentations. Though to be honest because my experiments so far have involved the application of the weakest equivalent to magic on Earth-Prime[which I have referenced to the other worlds as "The Grounded Earth"], I do not expect anything other than my meditations to do things. I just expect that I may be more naturally attuned to the concepts as the mages have indicated may well be true.

But, right now the most important thing is making sure the Princesses are safe and as healthy as can be given circumstance, and that the Castle remains a safe haven.
dreamwriter_emmy: Alexis Bledel (brunette smiling sitting on a bench) (Default)
I look at the community and I don't know what to say. I write and I act.


But right now, we don't know what we're doing. Heaven knows we may well be shooting our feet by not acting, but it's not easy to know when movement is necessary when you're afraid of the mines hidden underground.


I wanted a break. I needed a break. Doesn't stop me from worrying though. I feel like a coward for not returning to Radiant Garden when the barrier went down when everyone else did. I'm repeating the past. I should move. I should. I can't stick my feet in the ground like this. But, I don't know what else to do. Is there something I'm supposed to do? Last time I helped by research and my own interpretation of magic... Hmm... I think I'm gonna go hit the books again. Nothing better to do and I don't think I'm gonna get sleep tonight.




OOC: ...post otherwise known as "DreamWriter has no idea where-the-fuck she actually is in canon and is filling in the blanks as she's been MIA since the barrier was up around RG".
dreamwriter_emmy: Alexis Bledel (brunette smiling sitting on a bench) (Default)
Dreamwriter sighed, closing the laptop lid and looking at Sheridan. "How would you heal a world's spirit?"

Sheridan tipped her head to one side and then did a series of hand waves that Dreamwriter was starting to begin to understand after so many months living with the mute little fae.

Since the sequence ended with a hug which Dreamwriter had learned to symbol care and love in Sheridan's awkward sign language. Dreamwriter chuckled, "I assumed that it would be the same as everything else -- love, care and gentility. The question is how do we get to that place between where we can know the spirits? It happened on a fluke last time -- a boon for saving the worlds."

She sighed, "This time we must unlock the doors ourselves, it's not so much of a gift of a window. Though I hope we can find a window without unleashing a shadow. The worlds don't need more pain right now, if Aerith's post is any indication."
dreamwriter_emmy: Alexis Bledel (brunette smiling sitting on a bench) (Default)
While other refugees gleefully went after chasing Calum in their quest to save both Ryune and Josiah, the DreamWriter sat at a desk in Radiant Library that looked over the town, the town now abandoned by much of the Refugees. If one looked at her from the entrance, it looked like she was frozen in place and time had stopped, her eyes were closed and she seemed almost at rest. All that moved was her hands, Hope-Writer, the black and silver quill in her hands scrawling across parchment. Spirit Writing, or Automatic Writing was what this was often called on Earth. However, she wasn't writing words from Spirits, but words from her own heart. The Scarab at her neck, held the carnelian still... The symbol of connection.

Sheridan lazily sat on the nearby windowsill, watching over the Refugee.

The scrawl on the paper read something like this -

DreamSeeker, Dreamer, Messenger... Lover, Villain, Outsider....Twilight, Darkness, Light... Always connected, always together. Hard enough though our paths be... Never lost, never forgotten. Some things will stay, some things will go. Oneday, brilliance we evoke together, the balance of worlds, will save us all. Worlds sleeping are not dead. The cycle must return. The sun will rise, our hearts will blend. Our wish will be. Dream together.

The fight may last, but hope shines true. Whatever is given, can be saved. And little most know, memories serve far greater purpose in love and hope. For they are what build us up, and they are what define us as much as our actions.

We are waiting to stop dreaming. We are waiting to move. Help us turn to what we should.
dreamwriter_emmy: Alexis Bledel (brunette smiling sitting on a bench) (fear for courage)
DreamWriter was worried about the wedding. For the most of the weekend, she'd purposefully been losing sleep, putting wedding-fitting designs onto her outfits, teaching her self sewing and weaving among other things.

She had bought a frilly child's dress in the market place a while back but never worn it, so this was her opportunity to wear the mint and chocolate affair.

On her new cloak, with silver thread, she had embroidered a cloud with a heart inside it and the sunshine peaking around an edge. And on the sleeves -- one side had an embroidery of a vine and the other had a spider web.

THe crystal for her staff was obsidian and she was going to insist on sitting near the door, where the staff's powers would be able to theoretically remove anyone's external baggage.

The scarab brooch over the frogs fastenings of her cloak held the carnelian as a reminder that as Refugees they were "all in this together".

Under all this, she was wearing a new pair of high-heeled mary janes.
dreamwriter_emmy: Alexis Bledel (brunette smiling sitting on a bench) (Default)
also, I'll admit writing with a mirror also sucks more. :D

Little Sheridan's proving herself useful, though she thinks all this is rather funny. She's laughing at me... Or at least that's what it seems to be. She signs, rather than talks or jingles. My apartment's clean, though. Good I suppose.

I should put up a picture post of all the stuff I got at Star Market at some point... including Ryune and Brandon's wedding presents...

Oh, and Song, if you need some parchment before this curse wears off, feel free to stop by. you know where I live, even though it's not exactly close to Rainbow End at all.
dreamwriter_emmy: Alexis Bledel (brunette smiling sitting on a bench) (Default)
I keep my light shining on the community... but really? I'm worried.

I may live in light, and light outshines darkness, but even darkness has light and light, darkness. Without those, the world would be naught.

Things are very strange these days... Calum and the first darkness. Dream Brother Orpheus, flown away somewhere unknown. I miss him and I barely knew him, though our ideas are near complete opposites. We share the same dream, but a different methodology. It's always been the way with all three of us. And I... I'm the artist, the one who creates in the now, but does so slowly inspite of impatience, rather than destroying that which is cared for by others. My problem is that I worry too much and I give too much, though. That's my darkness. I am open to any possibilities, as long as faith, loyalty, love, and friendship remain intact.

I'm going to Narnia, hopefully, with Rox and a few others. I hope to heavens Aslan will hear the prayer of someone who doesn't quite believe in him, but in another variation of him. It's hard you know. Doubting oneself and ones belief system. THough, at least I was once one of his kind. I hope we can find some answers. So much is problematic. The World is problematic, but that doesn't mean a solution is destruction, rather... the solution is balance. We do need the first darkness, but at the same time, we need it in moderation. it's... just hard to figure out where that is if you don't even know where to start. And... thinking is running us in circles and time... we don't have enough time and not enough answers. How do you fix things when you don't exactly know how they are broken?
dreamwriter_emmy: Alexis Bledel (brunette smiling sitting on a bench) (dreaming for time)
...I usually never dream... so this was odd. Very strange indeed, though given the news and the music i was listening to before bed... I'm not surprised. I saw and danced with Mother Earth again........

Much as i hate home.... welll... Home is something important to me. I was born on Earth Day. Says a lot about me, doesn't it? I admired Xemnas's plan both when he was Xemnas and when he was Orpheus.... and yet such a hardset force connects me to earth. I want both. Everyone wants something. Everyone wants more than they can have.



lyrics and video under cut )
dreamwriter_emmy: Alexis Bledel (brunette smiling sitting on a bench) (DreamWriter)
so I went to the shops, and guess what DreamWriter found? A very brilliant journal that perfectly fits for this new year. I think DreamSeeker will be able to see why best. And I got it for a discount because it's a bit damaged and faded from being in a display case near a window.

I took pictures. )

ooc note: yes, this is a real journal i bought from a real store.... and i dunno it just said "DreamWriter's new book!" and yes, I did get it for about a $2 discount.
dreamwriter_emmy: Alexis Bledel (brunette smiling sitting on a bench) (Default)
Hey Mom and Dad and the Kids,

I apologize for taking such a long break on emailing you, things got really busy off-world.

I hope you're all having a wonderful Christmas season. Um... I sent my Christmas List on the last gummiship headed towards Earth a few weeks ago along with a forwarding address, if you want to send any presents my way. But to be honest, right now I don't really need much. I'm having fun out here and getting ready for school to start where I am. it's nice and comfortable.

I miss you all. Tell Abby she gets a big bear hug from me.

Love,

Emmy
dreamwriter_emmy: Alexis Bledel (brunette smiling sitting on a bench) (what's loved - lives.)
Dear DreamSeeker,

Happy Holidays. I hope this reaches you well.

I miss you. How goes the quest for science?

Hopefully I'll see you around Christmas or Yule. If not, have a very happy holidays and a happy New Year.

Hugs, Love and Light,

DreamWriter
dreamwriter_emmy: Alexis Bledel (brunette smiling sitting on a bench) (runes)
... I am Dreamwriter, rather than Dreamseeker or Dreamer, I don't know...But that's what I've seen as my role in this life, this story. Perhaps that's why Song, Xemnas and I can see through the same eyes. Same eyes, different role all three of us.

I see just as much darkness and light as the next, still I am skeptical and questioning. I doubt. I fear. I am alone. But, I've always seen myself as alone. I'm Crow. The messenger, the voice between present and the past. The one who feels isolation and pain ever-present so to make the journey easy for others. To connect the worlds. To connect the lives.

"If time has a heart, it is only because other hearts stop."

Perhaps we're in an age where the three of us are far advanced to the current civilization, but the experience lives on. Existed since the gods and will exist forever more. There will always be a Dreamer, a Dreamseeker and a Dreamwriter. Just as there will ever be a Darkness to oppose Light and the Keybearer to reconnect the darkness and light. To bring things back to the center...to the beginning. The wheel begins again.

I've been trying to tap into my past... and my present.... I have a few openings with Crow...and with the plant-girl. But this is actually harder than I thought it would be. Hopefully, I can tap these a little more without ruining the relationship with them both...I just hope I can do this... The desire to connect is what remains in all my past. "I don't want to change. I want to stay together always. I want things to stay the same." Perhaps that'll be my downfall, but only time will tell.
dreamwriter_emmy: Alexis Bledel (brunette smiling sitting on a bench) (Default)
I think I found what I'm looking for... and I wonder if maybe I can start learning to use my mental bonds to improve my own skills. Being the innocent one who knows too much is perhaps the best disguise I have. I have some of the skills of my bonds in lesser qualities, after all. Perhaps I can start to tap my knowledge into theirs. I know I have a shared memory tool in my mind, we just...don't usually use it for combining real-time knowledge and source knowledge. It tends to be used as a real-time knowledge tracker as well as a check-in-check-out point to the few who behave similar to gateway systems.

I'm...perhaps one of the interesting ones that no one knows. *chuckles* I kind of like that. "It's always the quiet ones," after all. Plus the fact that I can believe so strongly in the strangest of things. But, I suppose if I'm going to tap into the one that should be easiest to tap into, I'm going to need to find some flowers and a some wire.... hmm.... might need a quick trip to earth at some point...

I'm starting to get attached to this song, even if it IS unorthodox and kinda evil in a diplomatic way.

Song, I'm also around to talk if you ever need anyone else to talk with.
dreamwriter_emmy: Alexis Bledel (brunette smiling sitting on a bench) (fear for courage)
"Dream, Believe, Dare, Do." -Walt Disney
"A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles." - Christopher Reeve
"A champion is someone who gets up when he can't." - Jack Dempsey
"When you do nothing, you feel overwhelmed and powerless. But when you get involved, you feel the sense of hope and accomplishment that comes from knowing you are working to make things better." - Pauline R. Kezer
"Champions aren't made in gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them - a desire, a dream, a vision. They have to have last-minute stamina,, they have to be a little faster, they have to have the skill and the will. But the will must be stronger than the skill." - Muhammad Ali
"Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into a flame by another human being. Each of us owes our deepest thank to those who have rekindled this light." - Albert Schweitzer
"Your greatest gift lies behind the door named fear." - Sufi Scripture
------------
As to the reason for all the quotes? I'm working on some positive thinking. I think I did good, with what i did manage to get from the media in my area. I have ideas as to how utilize recent events...and I think it's both incredibly obvious that Jeremy was right in the first place and of course now i bash myself over the head because we SHOULD have followed his advice. We went in without a real plan...that was a stupid plan in general... ._.'

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